if i have a kid one day and they do something shitty to punish them i’m just going to take them with me to home depot for like 3 hours
one thing i hate is when parents refuse to let their kid(s) dye their hair
who’s fucking hair is it??????? is iT THE FAMILY HAIR?????????
when people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar and it’s just really frustrating for everyone involved
instead of flirting guys should just start doing weird complex dances in colorful outfits to seduce us like most birds of paradise do to attract mates
earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that
“no ur cute”
*gets out knife* “NO UR CUTE”